I was perusing my local MicroCenter website today for something unrelated, and as has become habit, ran a quick query for Pi Zeros before closing the tab. Sure enough... time for a lunch break!
I got home and plugged in my USB adapter and quickly realized that the 90 degree mini=>usb adapter I had blocked the other USB port. I saw this a few days ago. We have the technology, we can do this!
A couple minutes digging through my parts bin yielded what I was looking for, a female usb A connector. I removed the extra plastic around it using the most dangerous tool in the world (aka, a utility knife)
And the final product:
This will work out well for this project. It's not quite as low profile as the aforementioned link with the dongle soldered direct, but it has the benefit of flexibility in that I can easily unplug bluetooth, plug in a hub or kb and do what I need to do.
For the actual build obviously HDMI will not be used at all, and it will be powered by the pins so that will remove all of the clunky adapters/wires from the side of the board.